Impaling severed heads on pikes is an English tradition that spans more than three centuries. Some heads were dipped in tar to preserve them.

Hacking away at a ragged, bloody neck was considered bad form and unacceptable, so the French refined the guillotine to compensate for the headsman's poor aim or sloppy work as well as the less-than-perfect operation of the many earlier models of this machine. Unfortunately, this tool came along centuries after beheading and piking became popular, so many a victim was badly treated on his way to Hell, much like today's taxpayers.

(Psst! Want a good investment tip? Buy pikes!)

Michelle Obama
Wife of fake president of the United States

The University of Chicago Medical center hired her in 2002 to run "programs for community relations, neighborhood outreach, volunteer recruitment, staff diversity, and minority contracting."

In 2005 the hospital raised her salary from $120,000 to $317,000 -- nearly twice what her husband made as a Senator.

Oh, did we mention that her husband had just become a US Senator? He sure had. Requested a $1 million earmark for the University of Chicago Medical Center, in fact. Way to network Michelle!

But now that Mrs. Obama has resigned, the hospital says her position will remain unfilled. How can that be, if the work she did was vital enough to be worth $317,000?

We can think of only one explanation: Senator Roland Burris's wife wasn't interested in Michelle's half-time, 20-hour-a-week job.

Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano

And this year's pike award goes to Nappy for her relentless push to suck every penny out of Arizona taxpayers and our other pocket referred to as the federal government to develop the "necessary infrastructure" for Arizona's Megapolitan Sun Corridor so developers can get rich in this new frontier at taxpayer expense.

Senator Harry Reid

This is for your mandatory voluntary income tax, Harry, among your other insanities.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi

Impeachment is off the table, you say?

"Off with her head," says I.

Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani

A scary couple indeed.

Happy Freakin' Halloween.

Attorney and former congressional staffer David Addington

Dubbed the "Prince of Darkness Among Neo-Cons," Cheney's top attorney was a principal author of the White House memo justifying torture of terrorism suspects, and he was a prime advocate of arguments supporting the holding of terrorism suspects without access to courts.

He was instrumental in the series of fights with the September 11 commission and its requests for information.

Addington is known as an ideologue, an adherent of an obscure philosophy called the unitary executive theory that favors an extraordinarily powerful president. The unitary executive notion can be found in the torture memo. "In light of the president's complete authority over the conduct of war, without a clear statement otherwise, criminal statutes are not read as infringing on the president's ultimate authority in these areas," the memo said. [Read more]

Former US House Speaker Newt Gingrich

Gingrich said in the coming days he planned to speak out publicly and to the administration from his seat on the Defense Policy Board about the need to recognize that America is in World War III.

Since the former Speaker of the House has taken an oath to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, Mr. Gingrich knew very well that only Congress can declare war. Therefore, we have spared him the embarrassment of pretending that Congress has declared war.

Enjoy your pike, Newt.

District Court Judge Donald Thompson

It's bad enough that judges don't obey the law in the courtroom, that judges allow prosecutors to ignore the law, that judges prohibit defendants from following the law as written, that judges withhold the law from juries, and that judges legislate from the bench. Now we have trials presided over by judges who masturbate and use penis pumps under their robes during trial--judges who expose themselves sexually to court personnel--judges who store pornography on their courtroom computers. Nice! [More]

And if it were just one case of one rotten judge, that would be one thing. But no! This country is absolutely riddled with rotten judges who need to be permanently removed from the bench.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona

"Many of us are way past being disgusted and offended by Arpaio. His heinous actions and gloating demeanor are well documented in hundreds of thousands of words written in New Times over the years."

John Dougherty, Phoenix New Times, March 16, 2006


"No one has ever been held responsible for the murders, deaths and injuries that have taken place in the jails under Arpaio’s watch, not even those that occurred under the watchful eye of a video camera."

Linda Bentley, "Sheriff Arpaio Sets the Standard for Torture, Lying, and Denial," Sonoran News, July 6-12, 2005

[More]

British Home Secretary John Reid

Home Secretary John Reid has admitted that he had put his head "on the block" over reforming the beleaguered Home Office. He also had to admit that a foreign murderer he told MPs was in jail has been released on bail.

A rapist, a child sex offender, and eight other criminals had also been released.

Mayor Mary Manross, Scottsdale, Arizona

The city has replaced the attractive concrete signs at the entrance of all the city parks that used to give the name of the park. They've been replaced with 6-foot-tall artsy signs made out of rusty metal with sharp, jagged edges at the top, perfect for impaling kids who climb on them. The city's sign czars would never approve signs like these for businesses, but cities don't have to follow their own rules.

A couple of months earlier, the city had convinced voters that it needed more money.

White House press secretary Tony Snow

"Mr. Snow, as White House press secretary, do you have anything to say about the 2500 American soldiers who have been sacrificed thus far in Iraq because of George Bush's fraudulent war on terror in a country that did nothing to the United States, George Bush's fraudulent search for weapons of mass destruction that he apparently thinks is so funny that he even did a comedy skit about it in the Oval Office, George Bush's liberation of Iraqis by killing them by the hundreds of thousands, and George Bush's imposition of mob rule in a sovereign nation? Do you have anything to say about those 2500 dead Americans?"

"It's a number."

Update 07/12/08: He's in Hell.

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell

As evidence of Mr. Powell's need to be piked, we direct your attention to Mr. Powell's speech to the United Nations in February 2003, in which he stated, in pertinent part, ". . . The material I will present to you comes from a variety of sources. Some are U.S. sources. And some are those of other countries. Some of the sources are technical, such as intercepted telephone conversations and photos taken by satellites. Other sources are people who have risked their lives to let the world know what Saddam Hussein is really up to.

"I cannot tell you everything that we know. But what I can share with you, when combined with what all of us have learned over the years, is deeply troubling.

"What you will see is an accumulation of facts and disturbing patterns of behavior. The facts on Iraq's behavior demonstrate that Saddam Hussein and his regime have made no effort--no effort--to disarm as required by the international community.

"Indeed, the facts and Iraq's behavior show that Saddam Hussein and his regime are concealing their efforts to produce more weapons of mass destruction . . . ."

Mr. Powell can claim now that he had no part in the WMD debacle of the Bush regime, that he doesn't support the ongoing assault against Iraq, or any of the other nonsensical statements he has made to the press since leaving the Bush Administration, but you cannot erase his record. That speaks for itself.

George Bush's Chief Political Advisor Karl Rove

The rightfully embattled White House Chief of Staff was expectedly indicted for only one of his many crimes. According to TruthOut, "Rove testified that he first found out about Plame Wilson from reading a newspaper report in July 2003 and only after the story was published did he share damaging information about her CIA status with other reporters.

However, evidence has surfaced during the course of the two-year-old investigation that shows Rove spoke with at least two reporters about Plame Wilson prior to the publication of the column.

The explanation Rove provided to the grand jury--that he was dealing with more urgent White House matters and therefore forgot--has not convinced Fitzgerald that Rove has been entirely truthful in his testimony and resulted in the indictment."

A liar? In the White House? What are the odds?

Unelected Vice President Dick Cheney

16 March 2003: On Meet the Press, Vice President Dick Cheney declares, "Let's talk about the nuclear proposition for a minute. We know that based on intelligence, that (Saddam Hussein) has been very, very good at hiding these kinds of efforts. He's had years to get good at it and we know he has been absolutely devoted to trying to acquire nuclear weapons. And we believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons."

Another liar in the White House? Imagine that!

Did we mention he's a repeat drunk driving offender? Did we mention his hunting prowess? Leaders of sovereign nations, hunters, and mothers with children on the roadways beware. Dick Cheney's gunning for you!

Senate Majority Leader Bill "Cat Torturer" Frist

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice

US Representative John Shadegg (R-AZ)

"We stood for the principles the American people believe in. A smaller federal government, returning power to the states, lower taxes, greater individual freedom, and--above all--reform." [continued]

Shadegg voted to allow the unelected president of the United States to invade a sovereign nation without a declaration of war, kill and injure hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and Americans, waste hundreds of billions of dollars, turn the entire world against the United States, and bring America to it knees--bankrupt. He voted for the unconstitutional USA PATRIOT Act to assure Bush that, indeed, the Constitution is "just a goddamn piece of paper." He finished us off by voting for the budget-destroying Government Drug Store and the Real ID Act, both prohibited by the US Constitution but of no concern to someone who habitually violates his sacred oath of office.

US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

Rumsfeld conspired with the rest of the Bush crime family in lying to the world about the location of nonexistent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. In fact, Rumsfeld's was the loudest voice perpetuating the WMD myth.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair

Despite Parliament's reluctance and the people's angry protests, despite the obvious lies spewed from the Bush crime family, Blair fully supported Bush's criminal warmaking and committed British troops to invade a sovereign nation that had not harmed Britain or the United States.

Former mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani

Senators Jon Kyl and John McCain

"It took two decades of apathy before citizens got angry enough . . ." [full story]

(L-R) Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon and former mayors Terry Goddard, Skip Rimsza, and Paul Johnson

The Unelected Impostor in the White House, George W. Bush

The most worthy to be first on this blog would be George W. Bush. His illustrious career now includes the murder of tens of thousands of innocents in numerous sovereign nations, the bankrupting of a formerly prosperous country through the waging of illegal wars, the bankrupting of the average working American family as gas prices rise above $3 per gallon while families are forced to work overtime to keep up with the interest on the national debt, and countless other offences against the once-great nation and its inhabitants. So say we all!

__________

[Regarding the news that a top general in Iraq ordered "values" training:] "Bush and his rabid neocon mass murderers need to learn the 'values' of not invading foreign nations without provocation; not murdering tens of thousands of innocent people; not torturing people by raping, starving, hooding, making stand, terrorizing with dogs, and shoving foreign objects up their anuses; not destroying a country to hand out government contracts to hired killers and war profiteers; not taking kickbacks; not looting cultural reserves; not stealing oil and killing people for fun. That's the only worthwhile 'values training' that should have been conducted. But that values training would have failed, because the people who needed it are the most morally depraved people on the face of the earth and really are beyond rehabilitation. We know what kind of treatment they deserve, but we cannot say it, because they will do to us what they have done to others--the mass murdering thieves, whores, butchers, and criminals that they are." -Michael D. Rectenwald, Ph.D.